im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize