Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
