Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You've changed since you got that strap on
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize