found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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