Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
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I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
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He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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