And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
