Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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