we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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