True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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