You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
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i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
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GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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