Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
