K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
