i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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