I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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