so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
