I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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