i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
