Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
