Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
