you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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