Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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