i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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