wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
