why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
