i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
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He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
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if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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