well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
