Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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