i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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