So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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