I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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