batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
