I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
