he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I need to align my fucking chakras
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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