You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
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My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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