Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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