So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize