if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
