No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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