the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
