It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
