when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
