Did you just see the Batmobile???
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
