I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
