How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
