whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
