She is in my trunk
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
