did you get engaged???
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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