What a fucking waste of an outfit
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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