Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
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he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
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my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum