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So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
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