what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill