the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?