When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Drunk is a universal language darling
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
