I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
