He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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