there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
