Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
