guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
