so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
