this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
