I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize