hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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