Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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