wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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