M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
